Watch Like A Champion Today
A pre-game speech from Coach Briggs to get you ready for The Big Game.
All right guys, take a knee. Now I don’t have to tell you what’s at stake Sunday. I know your hearts have been racing and your buttholes have been clinched so tight that your farts have only been audible to dogs since Tuesday. But I want you to try to relax and enjoy the pageantry, pomp and patriotism that this game is all about. Choice is up to you, guys. You gonna act like a little piss baby or are you gonna get the gleam?
Piss babies take a walk. Gleamers come in to battle with me.
Now I don’t have to tell you there’s gonna be some drinkin’…
Football and booze both cause blissful impairments to the brain and when used together the effects can range from euphoria to madness to death.
Howie and Dandy Don knew the risk when they cinched up their ties.
You like Miller Lite, Bubba?
It is likely that the bartender slept with his wife…
But do try to keep it gentlemanly…
Above all remember Coach Herm’s Immortal Words.
Turnovers.
There will be good times and special guests!
And there will be tough breaks…
Crazy unexpected things will happen, but we must keep our poise.
Instantly regrettable things will be said…..
Boots will be shoved in mouths. And there ain’t no mulligans in football.
And let’s face it. Even more regrettable things will be said.
But we must keep our poise, guys.
Got to maintain OUR POISE.
I appreciate your intensity.
Let’s take a short commercial break.
Type 2- The Official Diabetes of The National Football League.
No.
Winners by Kenner.
No, Part Two.
WATCH LEAGUE OF DENIAL ON YOUTUBE!
Wait. What?
AND WE’RE BACK…
So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. The real winners walk off the field with no regrets.
Get yer mouth shut….
Get focused and don’t let anyone get you off track…
And again, we need to stay focused, guys. And thankful.
I love each and every one of you. All of your clear eyes and full hearts.
Our time together is coming to an end.
It’s time for you to go out and claim victory. Buckets and buckets of victory.
Remember, we all will die one day, but glory is forever.
Now, get out there and show ‘em what you’re made of! LET’S GO!!!!!!!!!!
TUBIN’ LINX
If somehow you need more- or a pre-game playlist for your Super Bowl party, here’ s a big ol’ playlist I made for my Super Bowl shindig a few years ago.